If u wanna regret or repent, do it b4 it is too late.

Ya it has been a while since i last update this entry.....last tues, i received news abt my ah gong....but i deferred my calling back home....it wasnt until sat tt week till i get clear of wat eactly has happened to my grandpa/ah gong....his cancer has spreaded to the lower backbone....now he feels pain on his both legs and lower bone....whenever, he moves and stands. i felt guilty once i received tt sms frm my uncle regarding wat happen to ah gong.....i shld have called him earlier, i am not filial, i am supposed to be as his grandson....he treated us so well!!! he loved us, and played wif us since young.....i was having flashbacks at tt instant when i was at mclaren vale on sat....
#1: ah gong will always sit at the guest room which was next to the kitchen, looking at us while mi and my sis were still having lunch....with a buff on the cigarrete.....then once we finished lunch, we will run to sit on my ahgong's laps, mi on the left one, and my sis on the right....
#2: ah gong will always bring us out downstairs and buy us ice-creams.....even the uncle at the mamak (is tt rite) shop noes my ah gong as we visited tt shop so many times.....same goes to the lady boss at the minimart.....we were in high spirits once we got ice-creams and always enjoy ah gong's company....one of the things we looked forward then was the arrival of our grandparents at our house....
#3: ah gong drove my dad's car to the airport and fetched my dad....true, at first i felt sth was amiss, since tt's my dad's car, no one has ever touched the car except my dad....y ah gong can drive it? oh, ah gong was once a taxi driver....so cool....i have watched him drive twice.....i rmb tt time when ah gong drove my dad's car to the airport, tt was the last time i saw him touch the steering wheel....
#4: ah gong always sat down with us on the floor and played coins wif us....we will use the coins and let it spin on the floor....everytime when i wanna spin the coins, i will always tink of this.....i can still rmb the facial expression of my ah gong at tt time, smiling.....with spiky moustache and beard....always felt the spikiness when he kissed us on the cheek....
a stronger, slimmer ah gong years ago.....i will nv ever 4get the love he showered us wif.....if u ask mi wat values he taught mi, i will say this "Ai pin cai hui ying"....work hard and you will win.....i will nv 4 get tt as well....
though he do not play wif mi and my sis juz like yrs ago, we noe frm the bottom of our heart tt his love for us nv change.....i did not noe abt myself, my mindset at tt time....i tot all these are the rights i shld receive frm all my loved ones, of coz including my parents....Onli till sat, i realised tt i too was worried abt my ah gong's health as well.....till then i realised he always owns a place in my heart.....no one can replace him, sometimes i address pple as auntie uncle, ah-ma, but i have nv address someone as ahgong.....ya, the showering of love is not an entitlement, it is a privilege given to mi....shld not take things for granted.....
so i called my ah gong on sat nite, tok to him for a while.....i said to him sth i would have nv said to him.....sth materialized thru the process called emotional outburst, i said when i come back i want to c u stand and walk healthy in my presence, ah gong went "ok, deal".....u still have to see mi graduate, u still have to c ur great grandchildren, dun leave us!!!! everyone, my aunts and uncles, dad and mum, mi and my sis, want to see u belong to us.....everyone's ah gong.....fight on, not the time for u yet....NOT YET!!!!!
i am proud to be ur grandson, and as ur grandson, i will do everything to to keep u wif us....well, pray and pray and pray.....Heaven, grant us more time, i still have not done him proud and many things i have not done....
Lastly, to say "Ah gong, I have faith in you, everyone is doing their best for you!!!! Fight on and live on"...I will pray for you....cheers